Ah, Retirement!!!

It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did
when younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

Let me relate how I handled the situation with my Julie. When I took
"early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a
full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we
needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to
show her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same
time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she
almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she
starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time
and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have
lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable.
I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door ...

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this,
as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
I really think my experience as a teacher helps a lot. I consider
telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points.

Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more
quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says
she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big
issue of this; as long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening,
I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something
ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or
Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or
something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to
do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those
odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.

Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy,
my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know.....get the grit
off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual
pace. My golf bag is heavy so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women
are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as
men. But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf
nap, so rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when
she's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of
my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs
more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half
finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I
tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for
herself, she may as well make one for me too, and then take her break by
my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm
not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will
find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better
than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys,
even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging
wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well
worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Rita wrote:
Well, there you are, John. To be great is to be misunderstood.

Indoarsman

Rita at nitany_98@yahoo.com wrote

I always thought that Women's Lib was really Men's Lib in disguise, so i
supported it constantly.

JohnSmith at JohnSmith492@hotmail.com wrote

I see a co-worker of your wife named VITO in your future. If I were you, I
would make sure that the cops & your kids can find your body after you
disappear.

For women, this will be too painful to be funny. I suspect some men
will find it amusing.

On 2 Jul 2005 07:01:17 -0700, "Poppy - San Francisco Bay Area"
<GoldenStatePoppy@aol.com> wrote:

It does display a kind of crude recognition of the egocentricty
of some males toward their wives. But none of the marriages
in my family in this generation follows a gender division
of labor in the household. Much more prevalent in my own
generation. That is why that group of males tend to be sour
on the women's movement. No one enjoys losing privileges to
rule the roost. But women today demand a different mindset in
their mates.